can i?

I have found something I'm slightly excited about.

Walkjogging! I have been going outside to get some movement in for a few weeks now, and yesterday I bought special sneakers and new supportive bras to get going. It's something I think I can commit to.

The first time, I walked about 2 miles. Last weekend, I walk-jogged 3.5 miles. Yesterday I got a little over 4 miles in. It feels like an accomplishment to me and on my own terms. I can walk as long as I want to and with the weather getting nicer, I have time to do it after work. PLUS- it's one thing I can do in the middle of nowhere. PLUS PLUS-it's less expensive than joining a gym.

It counts as long I'm making effort to move my ass!

Quickie update:

Since Jan 15th I have lost 6.2 pounds. I joined WW at Work, which means my employer pays half of 12 week tuition for the program. It's run by a colleague and it's held every Wednesday morning in the cafeteria, which is waaayy more convenient than shlepping around to find a random meeting around here. Morning is also good because I weigh less in the AM :-)

I have seriously written down everything I've been eating and am starting to feel better about my choices. More fruit! More veggies! More healthy protein! Actually thinking about things BEFORE I put them into my face. Weighing all options. Getting support from my fiancee.

I still have the bursitis in my shoulders, that flares up when it's precipitating or about to...which in upstate NY is every other day at this point. I also was seriously out of breath yesterday walking up a slight hill in the snow.

I have made a commitment to myself. When I hit 10 pounds down, I will spring for the fancy gym membership at the local Y. You may think: why isn't she joining now to lose the weight? I agree with you, reader, but I want to start by getting my body re accustomed to the smaller portions before I start seriously exercising. This way I won't need to over eat or compensate for calories expended. Plus, I want to reward myself for 10 lbs down of eating healthy, proving to myself that I can do this. In my defense, I am going to try to incorporate some at home DVDs and the P90X sessions that I like. TRY.

small victories and minor setback.

Forgot to update because I went home this weekend.

Things have been going swell. I lost 1 pound exactly (small victory) and tracked all items I ate (small victory) although I'm still not doing as hot with exercise (minor setback). I am more mindful now of the feelings I'm feeling when I eat, which I realize for me, is VERY important. Last week for example, there were cookies at the luncheon at work. I took 2, one chocolate chip and 1 double chocolate. I didn't want a 3rd, didn't need the 3rd, but when I was grabbing some to bring to the office, I ate a 3rd(minor setback). So I wrote it down, counted it, and moved on.

I must remember that in the grand scheme of things, I'm really just fearful of not having enough or being hungry but on a deeper level, I dont want to be deprived of ANYTHING. When I put it into perspective, I see that I must refocus my thinking. Cookies aren't that great for me, and I didn't get any additional pleasure from #3. Deprivation isn't part of the plan I'm trying to work. I just want to get healthy and feel good about myself again.

I am so successful in every other area of my life, I want to get this part right.

TRY-umph?

This week, I really reinvested myself into getting it right. I made a list of things I could commit to:
-find a weight watchers meeting
-actually attend that meeting
-buy healthier options
-write down what i am eating, not the POINTS, just the food
-exercise 4 of 7 days

If I completed these goals, I was to reward myself with a manicure/pedicure or a shopping trip.

Progress so far?

1-I found a local meeting and 2-attended it! It appears I've gained 8 pounds since November 30th according to their scale. A huge disappointment to me, but this was also a reality check. Although because I moved, it is a different WW company and I will have to pay $10 more per month and possibly lose online tools. The bright side? My new place of employment offers the program in 12 week clips and they pay half tuition. This pleases me. Starting 2/2/11, I will join through work.
3-I went to the supermarket and bought healthy food, no snacks or junk.
4-I have written down *everything* that I've eaten, which is a habit I tend to ignore or give up. I have been doing well, and, starting on Monday, I will resume tracking points values of food.

5-Last week, I hurt my shoulders doing the p90x (*glad to see I'm not the only one who gained!) and the pain has dramatically increased over the week. I tried exercising but I can't even lift my arms over my head. The pain is overwhelming and it radiates into my hands when I try to even stretch. Frustrated and annoyed. There is a YMCA on the way home from the new job which I am thinking about joining. That way I can attend some classes, swim, do cardio and possibly pepper in some of the p90X workouts I actually like (and not the ones that paralyze me)

Now? I'm sitting at home after trying to get out of the house to reward myself with a pedicure/manicure and a shopping trip but the snow cramped my style.

I'm feeling a little more optimistic thank you to those who dropped by to say HI and share.

epic fail

Still chugging away at the p90X, still gaining weight.

I can attribute it to: changing jobs, trouble with sleeping, getting used to a new schedule, not being allowed to smoke my lunch time cigarette during the day, yadda yaddda just excuse after excuse. It has gotten really bad and I am at a loss of what to do. I need a fire lit under my ass pronto and I can't seem to find a match, a lighter or even a spark?

I don't know where to start.

trouble in paradise

So I'm in my 4th week of P90X and I've been doing well as far as the motivation to work out. I still wake up every day to do it, and have only skipped 1 day because I was too tired. I have used my 3 rest days. I am struggling with the food part. The exercise is leaving me hungrier and/or with a false sense of security about how much I can eat. Doing this in conjunction with attempting Weight Watchers (the new program) is throwing me for a loop.

An almost 3 pound gain loop.

I am not blaming one thing or another. I totally accept responsibility for my eating habits, however, I need to figure something else out. I have gotten the exercise thing down, now I need to work on the food consumption. In my defense, I've cut out processed snacks and have been eating a lot more fruit (which is supposed to be 0 points plus).

So this week, I am getting motivated to work it out and not eat it up.

motivation vs. procrastination

Today, I was kindasorta motivated to work out. Still in a little bit'o'pain from yesterday's plyometrics (jumping). I woke up and kindasorta ate breakfast and laid on the couch. Then I did a whole bunch of errands and came home.

I was hungry and tired. So I ate an apple, 3 dates and made myself a salad. Fiancee was watching "Kung Fu Panda" and graciously offered me the tv to exercise. I declined, stating that I get one REST DAY a week and I would make it today. We ate dinner and I laid down on the couch, started feeling cozy but my mind was still going. I could hear the snoring behind me.

Mind: "What if you end up being really busy/tired this week and have to skip a day for a legitimate reason?"

Body: "My ass hurts."

Mind: "OK, our ass hurts but what else is really keeping us from working out, even a little bit?"

Body: "My inner thighs hurt too."

Mind: "You complain/make a lot of excuses for someone with large back breasts and a dimpled ass. Get off the couch."

Body: "You're right, but I don't want to get really sweaty and have to shower only to wake up and do a DVD in the morning and get sweaty again."

Mind: "So do the lower impact stretching one. You won't sweat so much but you'll still be doing a workout."

Body: "Fine. But only if I get to eat a Jello pudding snack after wards."

Mind: "Deal."

So Fiancee fell asleep and I put on shorts and did the Stretch X while he slept. I got to exercise, lightly de-stress my sore muscles and not waste a REST DAY when I still had mental/physical energy to do something.