Friday, October 16, 2009

In dreams...

Once upon a time, I wasn't a chubber. I didn't have to watch what I put into my mouth. And no one watched me or criticized what I ate, when I piled food on my plate. I didn't ever feel uncomfortable when my pants cut the circulation at my waist. "Fat days" where nothing looks right, never existed. I didn't have to worry about the angle of my face or the position of my arm when I took pictures. I didn't look like a sausage on the treadmill, on the weight machine, in the party dress. I didn't have to apologize for being larger than other people.

I didn't feel compelled to beat myself up if I had something yummy, instead of suffering with brocoli.

I am not actually feeling so bad about myself lately....I guess I was just thinking about a parallel universe. Someplace where the word "binge" only applied to shopping or drinking and donuts didn't make you round.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Just spent a long time re-reading the last three years of my life.

In November, I will have had this blog for that long. It is TOO funny looking at my journey thus far. I can remember writing some of those entries or what was happening in my life when I wrote them.

I was funnier when I thought no one was reading. Or was hoping someone would read.
I was more motivated before losing weight eventually became a chore and a bore.

Now I'm on a roll, with butter.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

s-u-c-c-e-s-s thats the way you spell success!

I was able to accomplish my 140 minute goal! I managed to work out 5 times this week: 4 times cardio and one time doing a CRUNCH! Bikini Body DVD. This was where I cursed at Lena and her skinny slut friends while I jiggled around in my living room at 5:40 AM. I actually surprised myself by achieving this mini-goal. It kept me focused and accountable. On Thursday I worked late and I did NOT want to go to the gym. But I did and knocked off 25 minutes from the number. I am hereby recommending this to anyone who wants to think outside the box when it comes to moviating yourself to mooooove.

I rewarded myself by going to Marshall's and buying two pairs of workout pants. I have tons of gym shorts but only two pair of appropriate pants. With the weather getting cooler I figured I deserved to treat myself to pants and not french fries.

Speaking of, I lost 1.6 lbs last week and I miss by 10 AM meeting tomorrow because I am taking my licensure exam. Might be able to catch the noon meeting but I won't push it. WISH ME LUCK!!!!