Wednesday, May 30, 2007

viral gastroenteritis

I'm currently in the process of recovering from a bout of viral gastroenteritis. Luckily, I didn't get the kind where I poop and puke until I'm more dehydrated than a 70 year old woman who chain smokes and sits in the tanning bed for 3 hours.

I got the version where my has stomach swelled up like I was 6 months pregnant (I now know what that's gonna look like THANKYOUVERYMUCH) and my glands are the size of golf balls in my neck, causing me to have a double chin. My joints are achy, so much that I have a hard time getting up and down from the toilet. I've been sitting at this comp for an extended period of time, but only because I know how it will feel when I try to stand up.

I haven't been to work and tonight I'm skipping class. I HATE missing work and school to be sick. I have a doctor's note to be excused from class due to illness. And I'm missing a quiz tonight. I have to get to work tomorrow, it's mandatory. I think I'm going to lay down and take another nap. Maybe something good will be on TV. Probably not.

Funny, I wanted to lose a pound this week to hit 10% goal but I didn't want it to be like this.


Sunday, May 27, 2007

naughty, naughty

It's Sunday.
And I'm updating (with a weight loss!) but it's a day early.
Tomorrow is Memorial Day, and Weight Watchers is CLOSED in observance of the holiday. So I did the right thing and got weighed in today so I still did my work for the week.

Also, because I plan on eating and celebrating today and tomorrow and I wanted an accurate number before I did A LOT of damage. I guess that's sneaky, but I have to remind you that this is MY blogger and I do what I want.

So instead of boring you with details of the fun weekend I had/still have planned (I dont have pictures to show you and narrate), I'm just going to be a straight shooter:

Arms: 11"
Legs: 22" (I've been walking/biking A LOT this week)

Current Weight: 171.2

Cumulative Stats: 22 lost total/13 inches gone from body
1 pound for 10% goal/ 23 to go
This week I resolve to:
LOSE THAT G-DDAMNED POUND SO I CAN HIT MY 10% goal!!! I can't believe I'm this close to it. This is what I wanted to weigh back in November when I started and I'm almost there!!!!!! This is terribly exciting. I want this pound off by next week. That is my goal.

And now.... a blast from the FAT past...

This is me, striking an oh-so-sexy pose, while hiking up Mt. Tongue (yes, I know) in Lake George, NY. I believe this was taken in October or November, but I'm not positive. And again, I can recall thinking I looked halfway decent but was still uncomfortable. This was around the time when I realized I was gaining a mess of weight again. I'm surprised I made it up 85% of the mountain. I'm also surprised that I didn't roll down the mountain, because I was so, well, round.

Friday, May 25, 2007

what about us *medium* hoes?

Ever notice how you always feel more comfortable working out with a stranger who's heavier than you? Tuesday in my apartment complex's gym room, a chubby-ish guy came in while I was exercising. I didn't flinch. I kept sweating profusely/breathing heavily on the bike and when my time was up...I got on the floor and stretched and contorted in ways I haven't ever before, then lifted some weights. I wasn't even phased by his presence.

However, if you put a thinner male/female in that same situation I probably would have stayed on the bike until my time was up, moved the resistance down so I wasn't out of breath/sweating so hard and then as soon as I was done, I would have peaced out of there as soon as possible. I've successfully worked out 3 times already this week, including: a 4 mile power walk, where I got honked at while I strutted my stuff in black shiny spandex pants and 2 trips to the gym for bike/lifting. Pilates DVD tomorrow evening.

Yesterday, I was buying text books in the campus store and there was a BIN of 50 cent chocolate bars. The clerk said, "50 cents." and I looked at him, with my big beautiful brown eyes and said in my Jillian voice, "21 pounds." The people there laughed, and the one guy said, "That's the best response I've ever gotten." Then I got to explain how I have lost 21 pounds, and still have more to go. They were impressed. I was impressed by myself because I just wanted candy.

Today, I officially became a parent educator. I co-facilitated a group called "Active Parenting of Teens" and I did a great job (thanks Sally!). I also got a haircut. This is me inside of Bayou Betty this afternoon, after getting a little "chop chop." I needed a little change. I got the new tatty and well, it wasn't enough. So I got a trim. Now my hair can grow long and healthy.

In other news, I ate a lot of food today and yesterday. Parenting groups are rough, because you get free dinner. Yesterday, I helped a co-worker out and ate a lot of Chinese food. Then I went to night class reeking of pork fried rice. Today, I ordered pizza & wings for my group. I ate that and then I somehow managed to round up my co-workers/friends to go out for celebratory bevvies on Lark Street. I love Lark Street. And my friends.

In conclusion, my body may be shrinking but my attitude is not. I love my friends/co-workers/self. I'm not too worried about Memorial Day weekend. And sour cream is still the best invention....EVER.

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Monday, May 21, 2007

Thank God I'm Fabulous

Hooray to me. I lost 2.4 of the 3 I had gained while in Jacksonville, NC. In today's WW meeting, I got a "BRAVO!" sticker because I went to weigh in during my vacation. I also discovered that I have a 4.0 GPA for Spring semester, and for my first year of grad school ever. Despite major ups, downs, stress, work and other shit, I've managed to lose weight and be an A student.

Below are some pictures from my weekend. I am beginning to really enjoy showing you all pictures of me, now that I'm looking good...that and it's easy to have pics since I've been going out with my friends who have digi-cams who enjoy taking pictures of me looking good. This next statement may sound completely snotty of me, but it's totally cool, because this is my blog (not yours) but I was really surprised by how good I look in these pictures. I'm usually NOT photogenic. At all. I take a picture where I think I'm making a normal face, and it comes out with my mouth hanging open, one eye half open and my eyebrows furrowed in thought. If you click on the pictures you can see them in a bigger version. You can also see that they are not in any way doctored and I really am this attractive.

(This is me finishing off the pitcher. I did not by any means consume all the beer. We split it three ways. I held Kristen up at gunpoint to take this picture of me for a very important reason. If you look closely, you can see that I have no fat hanging out anywhere and I have collar bones again. **I would also like to add that with weight loss, I don't have to take just "head shots" or pics of me hiding behind other people anymore. I've been working damn hard on this body and I'm glad I get to show it off!)

...and just to prove to you that I still eat, here is a photograph of me chowing down on some delicious Lionheart popcorn with some Canadian dude we talked to while he waited for his woman. He moved to America JUST to be near her....How romantic?! However, it looks like he could use some chap stick. I wonder if they have that kind of stuff up there in Canadia?

Soooo this week seemed a particularly challenging. I gained 3 pounds from my weekend in NC, but I tried really hard while I was there, and the week before I went as well. The disappointment sat with me longer than I thought it would/could. The day of, I didn't mind so much. And then I thought about it all week. It kind of undermined my motivation. By mid-week, on the scale in my office, I had lost a pound. My measurements hadn't budged from their pre-Jacksonville status, which meant I really was just carrying extra water and possibly muscle from beginning to lift again. I can also attribute last week's weight gain to being on a different-than-usual scale and the fact that my hormones are all wacky because of Cindy the Cyst.

I worked out Tues/Thurs/Sun and tried to eat within my means. I managed to avoid buying groceries until Thursday. Wednesday, I did childcare for a parenting group and ate 1/2 of an Italian Mix Subway sub. It was blissful. I saved the other half for lunch on Thursday. It was equally as blissful. Yesterday, at Caitlin's graduation party, I feasted. Hardcore. I worked out in the morning before I went, so that I could eat more and not feel guilty. In retrospect, it really wasn't THAT much food. In my heyday, I could have eaten probably 3 x's the amount and still come home and ate dinner...possibly dessert? Yesterday I ate there and didn't eat an ounce when I got home. I took 3 small cookies for dessert, and only took a bite or two of each instead of eating them all up. SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!!!!

Arms: 11."
Legs: 21.5"
32.5" (a little off the waist, not terribly noticeable but still!)

Current Weight: 172.8

Cumulative Stats: 21 lost total/13 inches gone from body
2.8 pounds for 10% goal/ 24 to go
This week I resolve to:
Exercise at least 3 x's a week now, since I'm only doing 1 summer class. There is no excuse. PLUS, I want to behave this weekend for memorial day no matter what my plans end up being!!!!

I think I'm going to go for the massage/seaweed treatment my friend's bought me for my 23rd b-day. I deserve it. I'm fabulous.

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

let. me. see. that. thong. tha-thong-thong-thong.

It appears I'm running into a slight problem. See, it's actually a good thing. But it's very bad for le weight loss.

Now that I'm happy again, I'm also really hungry again. This is good for emotional Jillian but very, very bad for physical Jillian. Perhaps I move down south where they appreciate voluptuous womens and live out of Tito's office ;-)

I worked out HARDCORE on Tuesday. Like bicycle, weights, stretches, you name it, I did it. I was really, really shweaty and not in a sexy way. Now that I've got abs, a butt and nice legs (which look awesome in my 2x's lucky shorts) I need to focus on the arms. I've got a dumbbell or two in my room, but they're heavier weights and I don't need to get bulky. Might just do a lot of reps while I watch tv or something.

Tonight I'm going to do my pilates DVD before I eat a gigantic salad topped with grilled chicken-y goodness. Got a nice little weekend planned. Including but not limited to: going out with my friends and a graduation party for Cait on Sunday.

And now for a blast from the fat past....
This is a picture of my from my junior year at Siena, I wanna say around spring semester. The night this picture was taken, I thought (thought being the KEY word) I looked skinny and attractive. The only thing that looked awesome was my hair (it still is one of my best features!) This photo will serve as further incentive never to get fat again, so I don't embarrass myself on other people's cameras. Maybe, just maybe, I will use this as my "before" picture for Weight Watchers?

Monday, May 14, 2007

hey y'all

This might be the only time I ever get to wear a tiara and a veil. I'm glad I got to make it look super classy with my red hoop earrings...

So, um, yeah greetings from Hubert, NC. Here's a chance for you to see some beautiful photos of my weekend!

These are pics of me modeling bridesmaid dresses @ David's Bridal for the girls in Tito's wedding... i think this first one looked the best

I look like a blue sausage here...very sexay?
this one looks classy, like a ripe pomegranate? but i still think #1 is best

Tito & Doyle
Tito & I posing for the camera ---> Doyle & I (I look suspicious?)

I really do have GREAT facial expressions. Really.

...and then today I finally got her!

Basically, my weekend starting on Thursday was quite gluttonous. Kristen and I went out for Thai food and I had almost forgotten how much I loved Thai. Friday, I flew here, ate decently all day and as soon as I had arrived, I was cooking dinner (healthy!) for Tito and her fiancee. Saturday we ate reasonably healthy. Nice breakfast, lunch at Atlanta Bread Company for sandwiches and even had SALAD with grilled steak for dinner! Then, we went out to a bar called Hooligan's with Tito's friend Doyle and his buddy Mike. I think I spent a total of $5 but managed to never NOT have a drink in my hand. Yesterday, however, I was a hungover woman. After a big breakfast and an order of sesame chicken & fried rice, I laid around ALL damn day in complete and utter worthlessness. I mean, pure bliss.

It turns out that in North Carolina I'm on the thinner end of the female spectrum (CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?) and none of the guys understood that in NY, I'm still kind of a fatty. Eric (Tito's man) actually commented on how funny he thought it was that I had a "fat girl" complex. Both Doyle and Mike were horrified at the idea that I still wanted to lose 24 more pounds.

OK. So the bad news? Regretfully, this morning at Weight Watchers I had gained 3 pounds. I tried my best all week/weekend, worked out and ate well. I am totally PMS b l o a t e d (sorry?) and STILL faced that scale. I'm very proud to have done so. After we went to weigh in, I did what any normal woman would do. We went to Applebee's and I ate an entire Southwest Philly Cheese steak wrap with sour cream. Strict eating begins tomorrow ;-)

Oh well. Great weekend. Well worth it.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Norf Cackalack

Ahhh! Summertime. Most people say it's easier to lose weight in the summer. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Oh I eat less in the summer, because it's so hot," or "I go outside more often, and get more exercise." To me, summer symbolizes patio dinning with a basket of fried food and a nice, cold beer. Can someone please tell me why beer tastes so much better in the summer? After my last class on Tuesday, my classmate Jen and I went to a local pub and split...a basket of fried appetizers and we each had a beer. We sat outside and it was glorious. I see this as a potential problem for me. Last summer I gained the weight back in a very similar way. I spent the beginning of last summer, dating a guy who drank every night after his softball games and ate awful food along with it. And I was right there, out eating him. In hindsight, that is just gross. Ewwww, Jillian, ewwww. I blame that month long lifestyle for me gaining back some of that fat I had lost. This time around I'm watching myself, but I know that Summer is going to be a tricky season for me indeed.

Tomorrow morning/afternoon, I am on an airplane to visit Tito in Jacksonville, NC. Since I plan on being in debt for the rest of my life, it's only fair that I visit my bff who is newly engaged and who needs MY help to look for wedding dresses! To be honest, it's going to be really weird getting on a plane and not going to NOLA. But I have to practice, right? In my suitcase I have packed: my pilates DVD, my WEIGHT WATCHERS water bottle, sports clothes to work out in and sneakers. I also looked up local meetings near where she lives and am MAKING myself go to one on Monday. This will hopefully force me to make healthy eating decisions while I'm there. I will be accountable for all food I put in my mouth! Also--I worked out 4 times this week! Probably because I've been so damn bored with no school/school work to do.

This is the tattoo I'm getting while I'm down there:

Wanna know what it means? I'm getting a swan because it's going to symbolize the person I'm becoming. I feel like I'm growing into a beautiful (inside/outside) swan more and more everyday. This tattoo will remind me on my bad days, days when I'm feeling depressed, that I've been through A LOT in my life and that I'm always changing and becoming better. I also want this symbolize my weight loss goals. All of my tattoos means something significant to me. I dont get ink just to have it. This will just add to that. Not sure where I'm putting it though.

Anywho, look for an update on Monday, possibly from NC. Hopefully with some weight lost. And there will also be pictures,

Monday, May 7, 2007


(This is SCWRFC and that's me, bottom right corner)

I don't know how I did it, but I managed to lose ANOTHER pound.

Arms: 11."
Legs: 21.5" (1/2 an inch!)

Current Weight: 172.2

Cumulative Stats: 21 lost total/12.5 inches gone from body
2.2 pounds for 10% goal/ 24 to go
This week I resolve to:
Keep up the good work! And exercise every day this week in preparation for wearing a bathing suit this weekend.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

word to the wise

Weight loss is NOT a cure-all for your life's problems. It doesn't make it easier to have clients who sometimes hurt/allow others to hurt their children. It doesn't alleviate stress at work. It doesn't make 10 page research papers or finals do themselves. It doesn't give you financial security or make your bills go away (unless you get a sugar daddy, of course). It doesn't help with large cysts in your ovaries now causing you pain on a daily basis. And it certainly doesn't stop your fraudulent boyfriend (now, ex) from cheating on you with his ex-girlfriend, or whomever else he was cheating with for that matter. Losing the weight didn't make me smarter, nicer or better at handling life's shit.

So what HAS it done? Losing these 20 pounds has made me value my health a lot more than the last time around. I get to tell doctors that I'm losing weight to avoid future health issues. It gets me compliments from people, and the ability to inspire others to get healthy themselves. It's been getting me attention from the opposite sex, which boosts my confidence level even more. I finally get to wear clothes that look good, not just ones that fit me. This time around, I've really changed my lifestyle. It's just not a diet anymore.

To be honest, I ate pretty awful this weekend. It was my rugby alumni weekend and I celebrated in style. But instead of going crazy and eating A TON of bad stuff, I only ate a little bit of it. I had pizza, onion rings, guacamole and of course, french fries. But I didn't over do it. I really got to eat exactly what I wanted, in moderation. I'm probably going to pay dearly for it on the scale tomorrow afternoon (I'm working all day Monday, hence why I am updating now) but I'm OK with that. My appetite is finally BACK, I can sleep without pills and overall I'm feeling good again, like a human being. I think it's safe to say that my "Month From Hell" has come to an end.

So...what's next? I've done a little mathematical equation, and I'm setting December 2007 as the time I'd like to be down these next 25 pounds. Weight Watchers offers LIFETIME membership (a.k.a. meetings and weigh-in's fo' FREE!) if you reach your goal weight and maintain it for 6 weeks. Until then, I pay for my meetings, which adds up on a monthly basis. This doesn't seem too unrealistic, in fact I see it as a motivating factor. I think December/January is a good time to attain goal. I gives me 7 more months of hard work to accomplish it. Plus...I just don't feel like paying anymore than I have to, they should really pay me.

In closing, I think it's kind of funny how I initially started this blog to humiliate myself into losing weight. I really didn't think I'd still be writing in it 5 months later, or that I'd be this successful and driven to continue to lose and maintain. And I certainly didn't realize the impact I'd have on people reading this. If it wasn't for people telling me they read every week, I might have given up!
(hi lindsey!)