Saturday, August 13, 2011

the fight

20 lbs down. Things are slow but well. Still feeling focused and I've been working out quite consistently. 30 minutes of cardio or weights or both. Sometimes a 3.5 mile walk or a bike ride where I live on sunny days. Not necessarily challenging myself, but at least I'm trying?

And it's so darn hard to cut out carbs completely. And summer time is always the hardest time for me. The heat. The lack of motivation to cook. The Alcohol. But 20 lbs in four months is pretty decent, even though if I followed it strictly, I'd probably weigh A LOT less by now.

Lately I've been feeling the sense of loss, like that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I don't get to eat something I want. Like the other day I passed up a buffalo chicken quesadilla, all hot and cheesy. I had a buffalo chicken salad instead and it was good but still.... That longing for "normal" eating, like how everyone else gets to.

I suppose this is how it will go. Forever. All over again. Healthy in, healthy out.

Monday, June 27, 2011

fatty is trying

I am doing relatively well.

Down about 15 lbs and still going. I cheat occasionally- a piece of bread here, spoon fulls of Adam's rice or pasta, but sticking to the diet and going with the ups and down. I'm debating on whether or not to drop another $300 for month #4 or try to go out on my own. I feel positive, but I don't want to rely on this food forever, plus it's boring after awhile.

I'm going to the gym and working out, weights and 30 mins of cardio at a clip. On sunny days, I walk around my "block" which is 3.5 miles.

ALSO- I got tired of feeling sorry for myself so I joined a women's rugby team, and will be practicing on Tues/Thurs. Rugby is very physically demanding, but the alcohol typically consumed after games will be tricky to navigate. I don't have to worry about that until fall though.

Monday, June 6, 2011

doing this

Down 12-13 lbs on medifast. Joined a gym. Last post was on phone and it didn't go through.

Things are going well, I've been making excellent dinners using just veggies and meat (or meatless options!) and Adam has been really supportive.

How are YOU doing?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

food for thinking

I am tired of eating.

A few weeks ago, I brought fancy new customized sneakers. I have gone walk/jogging a few times and I am enjoying it very much. I downloaded a cool application that talks to me and shares my progress during the activity. I like this.

I don't like eating.

After much debate in my mind and more research and almost a year, I decided to purchase MEDIFAST. It should be here soon. I feel like a cheater, but I'm just really at a loss of what else to try/do. Was contemplating Overeaters Anonymous, but the meetings are too far. I am rationalizing that I will lose weight, jumpstart myself and maintain whatever I lose.

Wishful thinking, but sometimes desperate times call for chocolate vitamin milkshakes.

I am just done with leaning on food to help me feel better. I am finished with impulsive eating. I need to STOP! and THINK! when food is around, but my willpower is lacking. I know what things taste like, I have access to things but I still feel this rush sometimes when I'm eating.

It needs to stop.

I am going to work on changing my relationship with food completely. Maybe this is the push I need to get it changing.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

can i?

I have found something I'm slightly excited about.

Walkjogging! I have been going outside to get some movement in for a few weeks now, and yesterday I bought special sneakers and new supportive bras to get going. It's something I think I can commit to.

The first time, I walked about 2 miles. Last weekend, I walk-jogged 3.5 miles. Yesterday I got a little over 4 miles in. It feels like an accomplishment to me and on my own terms. I can walk as long as I want to and with the weather getting nicer, I have time to do it after work. PLUS- it's one thing I can do in the middle of nowhere. PLUS PLUS-it's less expensive than joining a gym.

It counts as long I'm making effort to move my ass!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Quickie update:

Since Jan 15th I have lost 6.2 pounds. I joined WW at Work, which means my employer pays half of 12 week tuition for the program. It's run by a colleague and it's held every Wednesday morning in the cafeteria, which is waaayy more convenient than shlepping around to find a random meeting around here. Morning is also good because I weigh less in the AM :-)

I have seriously written down everything I've been eating and am starting to feel better about my choices. More fruit! More veggies! More healthy protein! Actually thinking about things BEFORE I put them into my face. Weighing all options. Getting support from my fiancee.

I still have the bursitis in my shoulders, that flares up when it's precipitating or about to...which in upstate NY is every other day at this point. I also was seriously out of breath yesterday walking up a slight hill in the snow.

I have made a commitment to myself. When I hit 10 pounds down, I will spring for the fancy gym membership at the local Y. You may think: why isn't she joining now to lose the weight? I agree with you, reader, but I want to start by getting my body re accustomed to the smaller portions before I start seriously exercising. This way I won't need to over eat or compensate for calories expended. Plus, I want to reward myself for 10 lbs down of eating healthy, proving to myself that I can do this. In my defense, I am going to try to incorporate some at home DVDs and the P90X sessions that I like. TRY.

Monday, January 24, 2011

small victories and minor setback.

Forgot to update because I went home this weekend.

Things have been going swell. I lost 1 pound exactly (small victory) and tracked all items I ate (small victory) although I'm still not doing as hot with exercise (minor setback). I am more mindful now of the feelings I'm feeling when I eat, which I realize for me, is VERY important. Last week for example, there were cookies at the luncheon at work. I took 2, one chocolate chip and 1 double chocolate. I didn't want a 3rd, didn't need the 3rd, but when I was grabbing some to bring to the office, I ate a 3rd(minor setback). So I wrote it down, counted it, and moved on.

I must remember that in the grand scheme of things, I'm really just fearful of not having enough or being hungry but on a deeper level, I dont want to be deprived of ANYTHING. When I put it into perspective, I see that I must refocus my thinking. Cookies aren't that great for me, and I didn't get any additional pleasure from #3. Deprivation isn't part of the plan I'm trying to work. I just want to get healthy and feel good about myself again.

I am so successful in every other area of my life, I want to get this part right.

Saturday, January 15, 2011


This week, I really reinvested myself into getting it right. I made a list of things I could commit to:
-find a weight watchers meeting
-actually attend that meeting
-buy healthier options
-write down what i am eating, not the POINTS, just the food
-exercise 4 of 7 days

If I completed these goals, I was to reward myself with a manicure/pedicure or a shopping trip.

Progress so far?

1-I found a local meeting and 2-attended it! It appears I've gained 8 pounds since November 30th according to their scale. A huge disappointment to me, but this was also a reality check. Although because I moved, it is a different WW company and I will have to pay $10 more per month and possibly lose online tools. The bright side? My new place of employment offers the program in 12 week clips and they pay half tuition. This pleases me. Starting 2/2/11, I will join through work.
3-I went to the supermarket and bought healthy food, no snacks or junk.
4-I have written down *everything* that I've eaten, which is a habit I tend to ignore or give up. I have been doing well, and, starting on Monday, I will resume tracking points values of food.

5-Last week, I hurt my shoulders doing the p90x (*glad to see I'm not the only one who gained!) and the pain has dramatically increased over the week. I tried exercising but I can't even lift my arms over my head. The pain is overwhelming and it radiates into my hands when I try to even stretch. Frustrated and annoyed. There is a YMCA on the way home from the new job which I am thinking about joining. That way I can attend some classes, swim, do cardio and possibly pepper in some of the p90X workouts I actually like (and not the ones that paralyze me)

Now? I'm sitting at home after trying to get out of the house to reward myself with a pedicure/manicure and a shopping trip but the snow cramped my style.

I'm feeling a little more optimistic thank you to those who dropped by to say HI and share.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

epic fail

Still chugging away at the p90X, still gaining weight.

I can attribute it to: changing jobs, trouble with sleeping, getting used to a new schedule, not being allowed to smoke my lunch time cigarette during the day, yadda yaddda just excuse after excuse. It has gotten really bad and I am at a loss of what to do. I need a fire lit under my ass pronto and I can't seem to find a match, a lighter or even a spark?

I don't know where to start.