Wednesday, November 26, 2008

happy thinsgiving

yeah you read that right.

And I ate A LOT of candy this week.

I lost .2 for today. No biggie, but a step in the right direction. That direction being DOWN!

After I weighed in, I went to the gym and bopped on the treadmill for 25 mins. Now I'm home cleaning up before my mama gets here.

Despite the fact that I lost as much as I would have if I had blown my nose, I felt like it was a big deal that I worked out. Because I was really going to go home and really lay down for a few hours and not weigh in and not work out.

.2 in victory. Happy Thins-giving to you!!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

busy little bee


Hi! As I write, I should be cleaning my apartment for Thanksgiving and beginning my final papers and maybe even catching some extra sleep or something like that.
But I'm here, typing. (Because the bathroom is all finished and smells like an orange!) This year, I can't go home (2.5 hours south of here) because I have 45 hours left of internship to complete. Since I have no real family, besides my mom (Mama Fatty?) she is coming to my freezing cold shit hole apartmento and I am making dinner for us and my boyfriend and his mom if she feels like coming over. Hence why I am cleaning. Company must be impressed. My house must have the aroma of orange and cleanliness.

I am sad that I can't go "home" and see my high school friends. And party with them for Thanksgiving Eve. Although I am often referred to as "
social" and "friendly" and "has appropriate hygiene".... most of my closest friends, who know ME and love ME for who and what I am, live far away from me. SO far that I can't close my eyes and be there with them. I am OK with this Thanksgiving though. I am happy to be with a few people I love and to have the control on how the meal is prepared (low fat green bean casserole!!!! mashed sweet potatoes!!!)

I usually hate holidays. Deep seated hatred from the pit of my stomach. I hate the pressure to have something to do that every holiday brings. I hate the fakeness of it all. I hate how people don't appreciate what the holiday originally stood for. Whoa angry girl. Go back to scrubbing the toilet.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

yadda yadda

NEGATIVE: 160.6 lbs
AWKWARD: and i'm buying a fake engagement ring to wear at internship so the men leave me alone.
POSITIVE: i was tucked into bed by 9 PM last night
MOTIVATED: I bought a 3 month WW journal to look for patterns, ideas etc

Sunday, November 16, 2008

life happens

So, yeah, um today's PLAN was to work the preggo house from 8 am - 4 pm, go the gym (for the first time since 11/3/08!) and then come home to write a comprehensive case evaluation for my 22 yr old heroin addict patient who's been trying to commit suicide for 7 years. Maybe eat some dinner, get to bed by 10 pm.

At the preggo house, one of the teen girls I was close with who moved to another placement called and said she gave birth to her second child this morning and wanted me to come see him. So after work, I went to the hospital and spent about an hour holding him and talking with her and her boyfriend.

No gym. BUT I did just do 20 minutes of my Pilates DVD to re-introduce myself to exercise. So I feel slightly better. Now I have to write a serious paper that's due tomorrow night.

Sometimes, I feel that I should just stop trying to lose these last 10 or so pounds. I look good and I'm really healthy (I think?) . Do I really want to give up and maintain this weight and continue struggling to get free Weight Watchers? Or am I just frustrated for feeling like a loser?

What I do know, right now, in this very moment? That my brocoli soup smells delicious and I'm going to eat it while I write this dang paper.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

mark your calendars accorndingly.

May 9, 2009 is my commencement ceremony. Just looked it up this afternoon. HOLY CRAPOLA. I am so excited-nervous-ready.

Jillian _______, M.S. Ed

I am writing to you as I spoon soup into my mouth and my pork loin grills away on the foreman, in between work and class. And sorry, no time for weigh in this week, as life as been more hectic than a hooker in church.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

No time for love

Thank you for your input! I have decided to throw myself a "I got my master's by 25 party" in May. I am saving now for it. And saving for body glitter ;-)

In other news, I am exhausted. Sunday I pulled a double at the preggo girl house and have been working and schooling non-stop. I have not and will not have a day off until Thanksgiving. I have also not made it to the gym or got any significant exercise since 11/3/08 (hooray for stickers on calendars!). I am eating as well as I can. I am just. so. tired. Yous will also be glad to know that I put in for an entire week's vacation in December. I have the time and I need it.

I am running on fumes.

Monday, November 10, 2008

opinion poll

If you were me, would you have a graduation party or a 25th birthday party?

I was thinking about throwing myself a 25th b/c twentyfive is a big year. But I've been thinking some more, and, I was also thinking about how cool it would be to have a party that I graduated with my master's degree.

In other news, I'm running late for work.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

i gained .6 this week
must be the baby weight ;-)

HOWEVER, due to the support of my fellow amazing blogger pals, I am NOT giving up. I start a new WW food journal this week and I am hell bent on
5 by 12.12.08.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

oh no you didn't!

The location: The cafeteria of a private substance abuse rehab hospital. Lunch time. Macaroni and cheese day.

The players: Me and some male patients of the hospital.

The scene: The young and reasonably attractive intern is at the condiments table, gathering some napkins for her home made rice and beans lunch. A few of the male patients are eying the intern and snickering. The intern looks at them, acknowledging that whatever they are saying is NOT appropriate. A male patient then approaches the intern and says "Congratulations!" The intern, puzzled, asks what the male patient intends to congratulate her on. He responds "Oh...I heard you were pregnant and I wanted to congratulate you on the baby."

"I am not pregnant, maybe you heard wrong," says the intern, looking down at her mid-section. She is wearing an empire waist blue dress to knee length and tan cowboy boots. Underneath the dress, she dons a pair of SPANX! that slims and shapes and should NOT suggest any sort of pregnancy bump.


Sunday, November 2, 2008


I'mma keep this brief, because I want to lay in bed and read a book for school that I'm actually enjoying.

Today, Adam and I went to lunch and a movie on a date. We went to Ruby Tuesdays. I used to think I didn't like the place but I changed my mind. Salad bar is a good time. The only thing that PISSED.ME.OWF (NY accent!) is that I specifically said "No mayo" and lo and behold and stuff, there was white on my Turkey mini burger. I didn't eat it.

We also saw "RockandRolla" with a bunch of famous people in it. Good movie. Very confusing but good. Guy Ritchie is pretty smart as a writer/director. Afterwards, I went to the gym. I have a goal to achieve bo-dang it.

In other news, I am planning where my NEXT apartment will be, because my lease is up in February. Also in February, my 25th. And I want to throw myself a party somewhere nice and invite people I like to it. Those are my innerworkings.

Plus, I have this goal of losing the 5 by 12/12/08. I am hereby enlisting YOUR help (yes, you!). Please don't get annoyed and stop reading my blog because for the next 5 weeks or so I will be talking about this goal of mine. Please give me words of encouragement, tips, "pull ups" (that's rehab talk for 'constructive criticism'), work out ideas....