small victories and minor setback.

Forgot to update because I went home this weekend.

Things have been going swell. I lost 1 pound exactly (small victory) and tracked all items I ate (small victory) although I'm still not doing as hot with exercise (minor setback). I am more mindful now of the feelings I'm feeling when I eat, which I realize for me, is VERY important. Last week for example, there were cookies at the luncheon at work. I took 2, one chocolate chip and 1 double chocolate. I didn't want a 3rd, didn't need the 3rd, but when I was grabbing some to bring to the office, I ate a 3rd(minor setback). So I wrote it down, counted it, and moved on.

I must remember that in the grand scheme of things, I'm really just fearful of not having enough or being hungry but on a deeper level, I dont want to be deprived of ANYTHING. When I put it into perspective, I see that I must refocus my thinking. Cookies aren't that great for me, and I didn't get any additional pleasure from #3. Deprivation isn't part of the plan I'm trying to work. I just want to get healthy and feel good about myself again.

I am so successful in every other area of my life, I want to get this part right.

TRY-umph?

This week, I really reinvested myself into getting it right. I made a list of things I could commit to:
-find a weight watchers meeting
-actually attend that meeting
-buy healthier options
-write down what i am eating, not the POINTS, just the food
-exercise 4 of 7 days

If I completed these goals, I was to reward myself with a manicure/pedicure or a shopping trip.

Progress so far?

1-I found a local meeting and 2-attended it! It appears I've gained 8 pounds since November 30th according to their scale. A huge disappointment to me, but this was also a reality check. Although because I moved, it is a different WW company and I will have to pay $10 more per month and possibly lose online tools. The bright side? My new place of employment offers the program in 12 week clips and they pay half tuition. This pleases me. Starting 2/2/11, I will join through work.
3-I went to the supermarket and bought healthy food, no snacks or junk.
4-I have written down *everything* that I've eaten, which is a habit I tend to ignore or give up. I have been doing well, and, starting on Monday, I will resume tracking points values of food.

5-Last week, I hurt my shoulders doing the p90x (*glad to see I'm not the only one who gained!) and the pain has dramatically increased over the week. I tried exercising but I can't even lift my arms over my head. The pain is overwhelming and it radiates into my hands when I try to even stretch. Frustrated and annoyed. There is a YMCA on the way home from the new job which I am thinking about joining. That way I can attend some classes, swim, do cardio and possibly pepper in some of the p90X workouts I actually like (and not the ones that paralyze me)

Now? I'm sitting at home after trying to get out of the house to reward myself with a pedicure/manicure and a shopping trip but the snow cramped my style.

I'm feeling a little more optimistic thank you to those who dropped by to say HI and share.

epic fail

Still chugging away at the p90X, still gaining weight.

I can attribute it to: changing jobs, trouble with sleeping, getting used to a new schedule, not being allowed to smoke my lunch time cigarette during the day, yadda yaddda just excuse after excuse. It has gotten really bad and I am at a loss of what to do. I need a fire lit under my ass pronto and I can't seem to find a match, a lighter or even a spark?

I don't know where to start.