Friday, October 12, 2007


At today's meeting we talked about wanting to be butterflies. Chris (leader) read this quote:

"How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much
that you're willing to give up being a caterpillar."

Then we talked about why some people don't want to give up being a caterpillar. My contribution was that being skinny in cold weather is twice as cold as it is when I'm fat. And I'm dead serious too. Some other people mentioned that being a butterfly is hard work; another person talked about their fear of failure. I could relate to this too.

Last time I lost the weight, I was right around this poundage. And I got cocky, then dated guys who ultimately made me miserable but fed me well. And voila! I had gained the weight back. I've been creeping around this 165 weight now for well over a month. I'm very aware that my weight loss is slowing down as I am heading towards goal. But I figured that another reason I've stuck around this weight so long, is that lingering thought in the back of my mind that I could fail again. As stupid as this could potentially sound, I'm not afraid of failing anymore.

Welp, I lost 1.4 pounds this week. Which is good. I'm back down to 164.2 pounds. I lost a few inches here and there, after kicking serious ass at the gym this weekend. And I'm not a failure. Or a frumpy caterpillar.

It's not the willpower. It's the wantpower.

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