how to spoil your diet without really trying

Last night, I was thrown a surprise 25th birthday party by my co-workers. Included in the festivities was Tinkerbell decorations, a lot tequila shots and 2 male strippers.

Needless to say, it was the best birthday I've ever had. And I still have more festivities this weekend, when I go home to see my best friends and eat at my favorite restaurant of all time for my actual 25th. I will NOT be drinking this weekend.

what the !?!?!

i don't know how i managed.
i hadn't weighed in at WW since 1/14/09 and within that month, i only gained .6
meaning despite all of my "horrible" eating and no exercise, i put on less than a pound.

something positive!

get on the good foot and do the bad thing

I skipped class tonight (a totally boring and stupid class) to stay home and make a heaping pot of pasta e fagiola. Beans, beef, broth and total warm yumminess. I did a halfway decent job at it. Very comfortable feeling in the tummy.

Getting my situational depression and anxiety under control is focus number one. Once I take care of that, weight loss and exercise will fall into place. I realize that I will not have a day off from anything until my 25th birthday. I have been earning/learning or interning 7 days in a row for what is going on 2 weeks. Something has got to go....This is my own fault and I must change my schedule before I crack like an egg and give up on it all!

I *WISH* I could just stop going to class. That would be so awesome.

blip

Here I am, blipping on your radar. blip blip blip

I have not weighed myself in almost a month already. Liberating and scary at the same time. I am returning to WW to face the scale either this weekend or next week. I only started feeling good again yesterday. I got into a car accident last Wednesday (add to my shitty luck!?) and the remainder of the week I felt soooooo depressed and burnt out especially from work. I slept, ate and felt completely unmotivated and unwilling to do anything BUT sleep and eat and cry/complain. I usually complain, but I'm usually complaining because I am so busy. This episode was very different than what I'm used to.

Let's get to the turn around....

I exercised Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. I tracked all POINTS since Monday. I feel that some of my depression caused my appetite to go haywire. And my haywire appetite caused some depression.

Which came first? The chicken or the egg?

Either way, I'm emerging from the funk and getting back on my feet.

this month ain't so hot either?

I was rejoicing on Sunday when the calendar said FEBRUARY! It meant my January from h-e-double hockey sticks was over. And my 25th around the corner (2.28) So today, someone left a bottle of diet pills on my desk. Then I accidentally smashed the front bumper of the work vehicle and got yelled at TWICE; once for not knowing about the smash and once for making a sassy comment. Did I mention someone put diet pills on my desk?

I worked out on Saturday & Sunday. Last night I came home and did a little Pilates DVD. Tonight I am off, because I have soreness in my inner thighs and triceps. And because it's really cold outside.

So I am getting back on the workout track and I've quit smoking, for like, the bajillionth time. So I am craving sweets like a mofo. And since I'm confessing my sins to my anonymous public, for the first time EVER in my life, I purposely turned out the lights on Saturday night when spending time with my boyfriend. I was too ashamed of how my body looked now that I've gained some (possibly imaginary) weight.

Like Tony, I have some fat scars of my own. When I was a chubber, I was convinced that my body was fine but that I was ugly. So I believed I was normal weight and paraded around as such. It wasn't until I lost any that I realized two things. 1) I'm halfway decent looking and 2) I shouldn't have worn some of those outfits.

Now, I cover up. I am very conscious about how I look, even though I'm thinner than I was in high school. My confidence was only shaken when I lost the weight. How counter intuitive and lady like?

quickie

Going to the gym on Saturday was so great, I did it again the next day.
AND I have plans to go tonight after class. I'm not as out of shape as I thought, although I haven't been super hard on myself.
Nows I just needs to work on re-learning how to track my points on WW and we'll be back in the game.