Tuesday, February 3, 2009

this month ain't so hot either?

I was rejoicing on Sunday when the calendar said FEBRUARY! It meant my January from h-e-double hockey sticks was over. And my 25th around the corner (2.28) So today, someone left a bottle of diet pills on my desk. Then I accidentally smashed the front bumper of the work vehicle and got yelled at TWICE; once for not knowing about the smash and once for making a sassy comment. Did I mention someone put diet pills on my desk?

I worked out on Saturday & Sunday. Last night I came home and did a little Pilates DVD. Tonight I am off, because I have soreness in my inner thighs and triceps. And because it's really cold outside.

So I am getting back on the workout track and I've quit smoking, for like, the bajillionth time. So I am craving sweets like a mofo. And since I'm confessing my sins to my anonymous public, for the first time EVER in my life, I purposely turned out the lights on Saturday night when spending time with my boyfriend. I was too ashamed of how my body looked now that I've gained some (possibly imaginary) weight.

Like Tony, I have some fat scars of my own. When I was a chubber, I was convinced that my body was fine but that I was ugly. So I believed I was normal weight and paraded around as such. It wasn't until I lost any that I realized two things. 1) I'm halfway decent looking and 2) I shouldn't have worn some of those outfits.

Now, I cover up. I am very conscious about how I look, even though I'm thinner than I was in high school. My confidence was only shaken when I lost the weight. How counter intuitive and lady like?

6 comments:

Tony said...

Wow, you should find out who put those diet pills on your desk and put a six pack of slim-fast on theirs.

carla said...

KUDOS ON THE SMOKING.

waaaay more important, IMO, than your ever shedding a pound.

Tricia said...

Yay for quitting smoking.

Re: the jerk who put diet pills on your desk, just mash up alli and put in the jerk's food (have you heard about those side effects).

Every Gym's Nightmare said...

who put diet pills on your desk? was that a joke or a coincidence? either way- eff them.

When i was sick with my ED i thought i was ugly too. so in my twisted mind i convinced myself if i couldnt be pretty at least i could be skinny. i turned out too skinny and ugly BECAUSE i was starving myself. thinning hair and bags under your eyes aint so cute.

Kelly Turner
www.everygymsnightmare.com

kristen said...

holy crap, what an a-hole! do you have any idea who put those pills on your desk? Who would do a thing like that? Screw them. I may have only seen the few pictures that you've included around your blog, but you're much more than "halfway decent looking" and do NOT need diet pills!

February may be off to a shaky start, but look what you've accomplished already: you worked out three times (how many times did you do that in January?) and quit smoking. It's only February 4th. And your birthday is coming up! I think you should buy yourself a hot new outfit at the end of the month to celebrate.

auntie said...

that sucks that someone felt the need to rain on your parade, but i say "screw 'em!". you're doing good things for yourself every day, most notably giving up the cigs. february IS going to be a kick-ass month, my dear. just keep on truckin'!!