The more I work as a counselor with addicts, I realize that my personal eating issues are VERY similar to my patients with chemical dependency concerns. Not that I want to over identify but...
When I talk to my patients about relapse triggers including: feelings of boredom, wanting to have something in common with the people we spend time with and the sheer love of indulging in something that makes us feel better temporarily only to feel guilty later, it is when I notice how close we actually are. Except that food is a legal substance and you need it to live; while heroin and crack cocaine are not either.
FOR EXAMPLE: Wednesday and tonight, I was out to dinner with friends. When I go out, I like to order a drink or two. Then I like to eat, because everyone else is. And talk. It is what I do. Socializing is a trigger for me. When it's just me, at home, I eat some sort of veggies and a protein, mixed together in a bowl. But when someone invites me out, I am usually drinking/eating/shoveling everything into my face as fast as possible. And I try to order healthy, I do. It's just that the friends I have may not necessarily have the same body image/eating issues I do, so I try to keep up with them and it always backfires in my face.
This also applies to my patients who might use and get out of control when they're around other users who don't have problems with being able to stop.
When I talk to my patients about relapse triggers including: feelings of boredom, wanting to have something in common with the people we spend time with and the sheer love of indulging in something that makes us feel better temporarily only to feel guilty later, it is when I notice how close we actually are. Except that food is a legal substance and you need it to live; while heroin and crack cocaine are not either.
FOR EXAMPLE: Wednesday and tonight, I was out to dinner with friends. When I go out, I like to order a drink or two. Then I like to eat, because everyone else is. And talk. It is what I do. Socializing is a trigger for me. When it's just me, at home, I eat some sort of veggies and a protein, mixed together in a bowl. But when someone invites me out, I am usually drinking/eating/shoveling everything into my face as fast as possible. And I try to order healthy, I do. It's just that the friends I have may not necessarily have the same body image/eating issues I do, so I try to keep up with them and it always backfires in my face.
This also applies to my patients who might use and get out of control when they're around other users who don't have problems with being able to stop.
* * *
On a more positive note, I have exercised 3 times with week! On Tuesday, I "power" walked with wrist weights and did a two miles. My once nicely fitting shorts were too tight. But I waddled on despite. On Thursday & Friday, I walked around the hospital I work at and did two laps with my colleague both days. Because each lap takes around 10 minutes, I got to add a star on my calendar for each day. Today I walked a lap by myself, just to keep trying to move more throughout the day and get some fresh air. Tomorrow and Monday I plan on getting to the gym.
I definitely didn't do as "well" as I had hoped but I tried really hard. I guess I just give myself a pat on the back and keep trying....
I definitely didn't do as "well" as I had hoped but I tried really hard. I guess I just give myself a pat on the back and keep trying....
5 comments:
That's all we can do!
I identify with that as well. I just finished reading a wonderful book of case studies of over-eaters and I couldn't stop crying till it was over. Over eating is about so much more than just food.
Anyway, I'm glad you had a good week over all!
i've talked to my therapist A LOT about how a food addiction is just as hard to overcome as a chemical addiction mainly because food is everywhere and we do need it to survive. (ok, i've never had a chemical addiction so i could be wrong on that, but from my perspective...)
also - CONGRATS on getting back on the exercise bandwagon!! that's so awesome - keep it up :)
It always seemed to me that food addiction is the toughest to kick.
Youre expected to have a little of your addiction every single day and learn how not to over do it.
yes. yes. yes.
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