so i make the rules...

This week has been stressfullike. I am on a new unit at the hospital, where the patients are mean and disrespectful to me and nothing is really done about it. On Friday, I got rear ended on the ride home from a dreadful day. This also being a week where I am usually oversensitive and emotional (hint, hint) all ultimately resulted in a glass of wine and a Snyder's Pumpernickel/Onion pretzel and hummus tahini mini-binge. Mini-binge really meaning that I didn't count how many preztels I ate and double dipped each stick in the hummus container. Sexy, no?

I am going to return to work on Tuesday in better spirits and overall more positive attitude about my job. Or else I will end up having a nervous breakdown. I just hope this job doesn't make me jaded....

Now some positivity for your palate:

Yummy news! I found 100 Calorie Dark Chocolate Almonds from Emerald Nuts at the supermarket and I am in love. I ate some today. They make me smile.

New idea! Intsead of setting a number of days I am going to work out, I am contemplating going for a minute number goal and working towards it all week. For example:

I will work out approximately 140 minutes

So I can do my mayjah cardio workouts (20,30,40 min clips) and if I don't have a lot of time or energy one night, do 10 minutes of something and add it all together at the end of the week.

Tonight I am making SUPERMUSHROOM&ONION pizza on a multigrain crust thingie I also found at the stupidmarket. Tomorrow is weigh in day!

the real skinny

This may sound completely ferklookey. For the last TWO days, I have been craving ice cream. I whined about wanting ice cream yesterday at my boyfriend's house. "I want ice cream," I said. They didn't have ice cream, so I settled for a Lime Fruit Bar instead. "It's cold and it's better for you," he said. I ate it, then eventually ate some Buffalo wing flavored pretzels, sour cream and onion potato chips and a hot dog with onions and relish on it. We watched t.v. most of the day and EVERY single advertisement for food that came on, I wanted some. Even though I know how horrible Pizza Hut pizza is, I salivated at the thought of that stuffed cheese crust.

This morning, I still wanted ice cream. And pancakes. I had some errands to run. I actually went to WW and got on the scale. Even though I gained some weight back, I know that I am retaining water this week and I seroiusly ate salt like it was going out of style this weekend. I got my nails done, went to the doc's and then I went to the gym. I did roughly 25 mins of cardio on the elliptical.

I was hoping that my elliptical time would banish my craving for ice cream. Hope failed. However my dearies, I am happy to report that I drove to my nearest Stewarts and got myself one scoop of Brownie Cookie Dough ice cream. It was heavenly.

YES, I am aware that I just undid my 25 mins of sweat and then some. YES, I gained weight this week and didn't really need that cone. But holy crap, I feel better. For many reasons....shall we?

1. I actually waited out the craving to see if it was real or just a passing fad. It was real.
   
2. I unconciously exercised before I made the choice to get the ice cream. Thus kind of softening the blow, if you will. I moved to get a star/sticker on my calender!
   
3. I am actually happy that I did something that made me feel better instead of making myself miserable by not giving in.
   
4. I ordered (1) scoop on a cone instead of getting a pint to bring home. Ice cream craving squashed, integrity intact.
   
5. I realize that maybe I am needing some extra calcium, since my cravings today revolve around dairy products such as ice cream and pizza cheese. Internal body cues are wonderful!
   

Behavior and thinking patterns changing for the better: check!

What are you doing/trying differently these days?

on the up

Today, I was back in my element.

I returned to my 10 AM meetings with the WW Leader I like the mostest. Although I didn't do so hot as far as writing things down and exercising (I have a new schedule at work, now I'm Tues-Sat instead of Sun-Thurs) (SOOOOOO NOT AN EXCUSE!!!!!!!!) I managed to only gain .2 lbs this week. I got a little cocky. That little blip on the scale means pretty much nothing to me. Except to try extra hard this week to lose some more weight.

Also positive was a co-worker who also has the same schedule as me. She showed up at the meeting and sat right on down next to me. I guess all my talk about WW made her want to try again too.

I did Pilates at home today instead of going to the gym. It was a refreshing change from cardio machines and walking outside.

In regards to my employment, it was confirmed that I couldn't work for WW if I didn't weigh within the certain BMI range (for me? I am supposed to be between 120-150 poundages). However, I CAN work for them if I am 10 lbs away from my goal with the intention to lose it within a certain amount of time (my new goal was 160 lbs). It is quite very possible for me to hit *my* goal and try to lose the last 10 lbs to be a Leader/Receptionist?!?!?!?!

Before I get ahead of myself, let me lose this last 11 lbs turkey I have left.

good morning, fat ass.

For the last few weeks, every day my cell phone does the Woodie the Woodpecker laugh at 5 AM. Across the screen it says

"Good morning, Fat (_)_)!"

Every morning, I hit snooze and sleep until 6-6:15 AM.

I am *TRYING* to wake myself up to start doing morning workouts and it isn't working.

What *is* working? Finally being REdedicated to going to the gym or walking after my day is over. I also wore a pedometer to work today and discovered that I did 2.14 miles of walking around the hospital.

I lost another 1.6 lbs, bringing the last 3 weeks to 3.8 lbs lost total. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky. I will not get cocky. I cannot get cocky.

I just can't do it.

stop & smell the roses

"Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses!"

Ok. 4 days in a row of *something* with exercise. Thursday= 30 mins of cardio; Friday= 20 mins of cardio + some weights; Saturday = 40 mins of cardio and the above photo was taken during yesterday's (Sunday) 4 mile hike with my friend and her dog, Kaiser. I am not going back to school for the first time in 20 years and now I have no excuse not to work out. Today I am very tired but I plan to do a little Pilates DVD or something low-key this evening, because tomorrow is my new weigh in day.

Also- I recently purchased coconut oil because I read somewhere that it helps with weight loss. I have been using it here & there in my cooking. I notice I'm a little less hungry? I also bought Laci Le Beau's Dieter Tea, which is just a fancy name for "tea-bag laxative." I notice I'm a little less hungry?

Am I not hungry because I am not eating for the wrong reasons these last few days with increased exercise or is it because of coconut oil and colon blow? The world may never know....

hungry pants

Happy to report that on Tues 9/1/09 at the meeting, I weighed 1.6 lbs less than last week.

That's the most I've lost in a very long time. It was nice to see that hard work paid off. It is also nice that today I went to the gym and did 30 mins cardio, despite a hangover migraine that makes me feel like my teeth are cracking in half. Because I'm not giving up. Because I have 13 lbs to get to my goal weight.

Speaking of, I handed in my doctor's note and was sad to hear that even if I get to 160 lbs and hit lifetime membership, I can never work for Weight Watchers.

Oh well. Life goes on.
I have 14 points to spend on dinner and I am decided what to prepare/gobble up.