there is a crack in everything

I'm jiggly.

I stood naked in front of the mirror and I even feel the jiggles all over my body when I walk. In clothes, I look fine. In the nude, not so much. Something beautiful in being vulnerable. If I were a porn star or a bikini model this would be an issue. Lucky for me, I'm a counselor.

Last week I lost 1.6 more pounds bringing me to a loss of 5 in the last two weeks. This week, I was busy busy busy socializing. No time for exercise, even with the best of intentions waking up at 6 AM to try to get an exercise video in...I still decided to roll over and get more sleep. The scale this morning said I was back up a pound or two but I figure if I eat a lot of lettuce and drink a lot of water I will pee this out and be OK for weigh in tomorrow.

HOWEVER, add my mother to the mix. She was up two weeks ago and wanted to go out to eat very badly. She will be up in a little while again to help me pack and I know she will want to go to a restaurant. Last time I had to put my foot down hard, because I kind of wanted to go out too. She started to moan about how hungry she was so I pulled out the Fiber 1 bar I keep in my purse to shut her up. It worked. Today I will coax her to let me cook again for her. I hope she buys it. My waistline is depending on this. Good thing I went to the gym already....

Also to be noted: next weekend I move in with my fiancee. He's already grouching about the fact that I don't cook fattening enough for him and he said "You know there's going to be a lot more junk food in our apartment." I responded "You know there's going to be a lot more vegetables too." But folks, I'm really worried. I won't have a gym membership and possibly no more Exercise-On-Demand digital cable. He said he'll do P90X with me, but he has the follow through of a two year old sometimes...

Who unintentionally sabotages you in your weightloss/healthy habits? And how do you handle it?

geessh

I have been gone for too long, longer than expected or needed.

Things are going well. I made an excel chart of the last 30+ weeks and it turns out my average weight is roughly 175 lbs, which is what I've been weighing in/near now for over a year. I'm not thrilled with this number, however, I have been maintaining this number for a long time and it is a positive that I haven't shot ALLTHEWAYBACKUP to "too close to two hundred."

I don't know how much I currently owe my fiancee. I'm not caring about it today.

Also- my gym membership is finito on 10/31/10 which means I'm going to need to find another gym and/or try something new. I'm thinking about that P90X/Beachbody Fitness program that my friend from highschool has had much success with. We shall see.

In the meantime, I'm far too busy laying on the couch and pretending to pack up my apartment for a move.

I *promise* I will be on more, if anyone still reads this...

lament!

The day before weigh in is always the hardest, when I'm actually doing this. I am hot, hungry and cranky. I went to the gym, stayed semi-within my POINTS and have been drinking fluids ALL DAMN DAY. And I probably won't lose all that much tomorrow morning! I drank 3 nights this week and ate a fancy dinner with my fiancee and friend last night, including cajun alfredo. I've never had cajun alfredo. It was incredible, with scallops and shrimp and broccoli with rigatoni.

Regardless, for every pound I gain, I owe Adam $5. For every pound I lose, I get $1. Then on the elliptical, I read this article and I smiled. I know I didn't invent it, but I'm glad I'm not the only one.

put money where your mouth is

today i decided that i needed help.

today i decided that either for every pound i gain or every pound i lose, i will pay my fiancee a dollar (or 20, 40, 60, 80 cents) and when i hit a goal i will buy myself a present.

i'm still debating if i should pay up for losing or gaining.
either way, i hope i win!

new thang

Since reading that book (see last post) I've been doing this thang. I've been waiting, at least two days, before doing "something." I waited two days to see if I really wanted ice cream and I did. So I got some. This week I waited two days to see if I really wanted wine. And I did. So I got some. I've been turning down food, impulses to eat food etc. I've also gone to the gym 4 days...in a ROW! I am trying to listen to and make peace with my body and my mind. The two day rule is a great start.

a must read

This book has been everywhere as of late and so I ordered on Amazon.come just to see. Everyone, everyone should read this book. Just to get a different point of view on things, maybe to feel slightly more empowered and enlightened.

It doesn't solve any problems but it definitely made me ask some good questions.

answered prayers.

Been a busy few weeks.

Last week, I lost 3.2 lbs and did well this week eating but never made it to weigh in today.

Yesterday, the fiance and I hiked in the Adirondacks. I made it 10 miles round trip and managed to handle some rocky terrain. Today, I helped him to unload 2 tons worth of 40 lbs each bags of wood pellets.
I remember asking him to exercise with me a few weeks ago, because I wanted his support and help. Now I'm all kinds of sore from him honoring my request.