small victories and minor setback.

Forgot to update because I went home this weekend.

Things have been going swell. I lost 1 pound exactly (small victory) and tracked all items I ate (small victory) although I'm still not doing as hot with exercise (minor setback). I am more mindful now of the feelings I'm feeling when I eat, which I realize for me, is VERY important. Last week for example, there were cookies at the luncheon at work. I took 2, one chocolate chip and 1 double chocolate. I didn't want a 3rd, didn't need the 3rd, but when I was grabbing some to bring to the office, I ate a 3rd(minor setback). So I wrote it down, counted it, and moved on.

I must remember that in the grand scheme of things, I'm really just fearful of not having enough or being hungry but on a deeper level, I dont want to be deprived of ANYTHING. When I put it into perspective, I see that I must refocus my thinking. Cookies aren't that great for me, and I didn't get any additional pleasure from #3. Deprivation isn't part of the plan I'm trying to work. I just want to get healthy and feel good about myself again.

I am so successful in every other area of my life, I want to get this part right.

TRY-umph?

This week, I really reinvested myself into getting it right. I made a list of things I could commit to:
-find a weight watchers meeting
-actually attend that meeting
-buy healthier options
-write down what i am eating, not the POINTS, just the food
-exercise 4 of 7 days

If I completed these goals, I was to reward myself with a manicure/pedicure or a shopping trip.

Progress so far?

1-I found a local meeting and 2-attended it! It appears I've gained 8 pounds since November 30th according to their scale. A huge disappointment to me, but this was also a reality check. Although because I moved, it is a different WW company and I will have to pay $10 more per month and possibly lose online tools. The bright side? My new place of employment offers the program in 12 week clips and they pay half tuition. This pleases me. Starting 2/2/11, I will join through work.
3-I went to the supermarket and bought healthy food, no snacks or junk.
4-I have written down *everything* that I've eaten, which is a habit I tend to ignore or give up. I have been doing well, and, starting on Monday, I will resume tracking points values of food.

5-Last week, I hurt my shoulders doing the p90x (*glad to see I'm not the only one who gained!) and the pain has dramatically increased over the week. I tried exercising but I can't even lift my arms over my head. The pain is overwhelming and it radiates into my hands when I try to even stretch. Frustrated and annoyed. There is a YMCA on the way home from the new job which I am thinking about joining. That way I can attend some classes, swim, do cardio and possibly pepper in some of the p90X workouts I actually like (and not the ones that paralyze me)

Now? I'm sitting at home after trying to get out of the house to reward myself with a pedicure/manicure and a shopping trip but the snow cramped my style.

I'm feeling a little more optimistic thank you to those who dropped by to say HI and share.

epic fail

Still chugging away at the p90X, still gaining weight.

I can attribute it to: changing jobs, trouble with sleeping, getting used to a new schedule, not being allowed to smoke my lunch time cigarette during the day, yadda yaddda just excuse after excuse. It has gotten really bad and I am at a loss of what to do. I need a fire lit under my ass pronto and I can't seem to find a match, a lighter or even a spark?

I don't know where to start.

trouble in paradise

So I'm in my 4th week of P90X and I've been doing well as far as the motivation to work out. I still wake up every day to do it, and have only skipped 1 day because I was too tired. I have used my 3 rest days. I am struggling with the food part. The exercise is leaving me hungrier and/or with a false sense of security about how much I can eat. Doing this in conjunction with attempting Weight Watchers (the new program) is throwing me for a loop.

An almost 3 pound gain loop.

I am not blaming one thing or another. I totally accept responsibility for my eating habits, however, I need to figure something else out. I have gotten the exercise thing down, now I need to work on the food consumption. In my defense, I've cut out processed snacks and have been eating a lot more fruit (which is supposed to be 0 points plus).

So this week, I am getting motivated to work it out and not eat it up.

motivation vs. procrastination

Today, I was kindasorta motivated to work out. Still in a little bit'o'pain from yesterday's plyometrics (jumping). I woke up and kindasorta ate breakfast and laid on the couch. Then I did a whole bunch of errands and came home.

I was hungry and tired. So I ate an apple, 3 dates and made myself a salad. Fiancee was watching "Kung Fu Panda" and graciously offered me the tv to exercise. I declined, stating that I get one REST DAY a week and I would make it today. We ate dinner and I laid down on the couch, started feeling cozy but my mind was still going. I could hear the snoring behind me.

Mind: "What if you end up being really busy/tired this week and have to skip a day for a legitimate reason?"

Body: "My ass hurts."

Mind: "OK, our ass hurts but what else is really keeping us from working out, even a little bit?"

Body: "My inner thighs hurt too."

Mind: "You complain/make a lot of excuses for someone with large back breasts and a dimpled ass. Get off the couch."

Body: "You're right, but I don't want to get really sweaty and have to shower only to wake up and do a DVD in the morning and get sweaty again."

Mind: "So do the lower impact stretching one. You won't sweat so much but you'll still be doing a workout."

Body: "Fine. But only if I get to eat a Jello pudding snack after wards."

Mind: "Deal."

So Fiancee fell asleep and I put on shorts and did the Stretch X while he slept. I got to exercise, lightly de-stress my sore muscles and not waste a REST DAY when I still had mental/physical energy to do something.

the consensus is in!

I am loving P90x so far. Waking up @5:30 AM to work out before work starts. I hate the Yoga one, but have been substituting it for a Stretch DVD instead.

Current measurements:
Arm: 13"
Waist: 36"
Hips: 42"
Leg: 24"

No changes in scale or measurements....yet. But I have noticed some beginning tingling of muscles being ripped and feeling stronger in my upper body.

Day 1

Well, more like, Day 2. I did my first DVD yesterday.
These are my P90X "before" pictures

I am disgusted with myself, but slightly OK. I'm worse off than I thought I was, but at least I look 80% better when I'm fully dressed.

• I have re-committed myself to my re-commitment to be healthy and look good naked (which I have epically failed as, as pictured above).

• I am doing P90X and Weight Watchers new POINTS PLUS system, and will be trying to try harder with all of it.

• I have enlisted my fiancee to help me NOT eat like a slob. But I will die if he ever watches me doing my exercises, because I am uncoordinated and ridiculous looking (plus I talk back to the people on the screen.)

• I will photo update on 1/1/11, which will be the next day I am obligated to take a photo. Maybe I will have a martini in my hand? Maybe I will have a smile!?
  

Soooo this is me. 180 lbs of pure woman, rainbows and cookies.