Saturday, December 29, 2007

what a bummer

I just got magically motivated to go exercise, because I realized that I'm never going to lose 6 pounds (yes, I gained 3 this week. Consequently, I must lose 6 to get under 160 by 1/4/08) if I just lay in bed all day.

I am still utterly frustrated with not getting to my goal this time around, even when I get so close. I have to really kick it into high gear and remember what I want to look like every time I put something tasty in my mouth. Or even when I'm looking at/thinking about tasty food.

Although I am happy (and proud) to have lost 30 lbs, I still feel fat. I think I will always feel fat. I know I look so much better than I did last year at this time, and I have a much firmer body than the last time I lost the weight, I still feel a little uncomfortable. But more than anything, I am angry that I'm stuck in the 160's since June. If I was going at my beginning rate (like when I first started losing last year, 10 pounds every 3 months), I should have been at goal by now at least.

Now I'm 166.2 lbs and wearing spandex so I can go out for a walk or hit up the weight machine in my gym room.

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