how does one know they are officially a grownup?

"How does one know they are officially a grownup?"
A thought piece by FGF

In a society where adolescence is brought on too early by 12-13 year olds engaging in oral sex at "rainbow parties" (each girl wear a different shade of lipstick; every boy has to see how many rings he can get around his member for the night) (trust me, this is REAL) And where adolescence for some lasts until the late twenties I have a question for you: "How does one know they are officially a grownup?"

In some ways, I have been a grown up for many, many years.

Mom raised me on her own and I've been working since age 14. I've also raised Mom a little bit. I was a wild teenager of sorts; going to bars, experimenting with drugs and boys etc. But I graduated high school going to the college of my choice, maintaining a B average, participating in loads of extra curriculars, not pregnant, no criminal record and voted as "Class Clown." At 18, I sure thought I was grown up.

Fast forward to college. 3 years of eating, drinking, playing rugby, trying to get boys to like me. Then my senior year set in and I became serious. I wanted to go to graduate school. Senior year I worked part-time on campus at the Sub Shop and got hired at my internship working with at-risk youth in a pregnancy prevention program. I took 5 classes, ran my own psychology experiment (about how we judge overweight people vs. thin people) and was preparing to get my own apartment. Being busy and employed meant I sacrificed nights of drinking with people I had next to nothing in common with anymore. I was labeled a loser because I had focused myself on moving to the next step in life, when people I surrounded myself still clung to their college social lives. This made me a grown up right??? I graduated college going to the graduate school of my choice, maintaining a 3.1 GPA overall, participating in loads of extra curriculars, not pregnant, no criminal record and signing a lease to my very own place. At 22, I sure thought I was grown up.

Now we fast forward to September 28, 2008. I'm pretty sure I'm more grown up than most people I know, even some older than I am. Bills are not a measure of adulthood, only responsibility. Maybe it's the line of work I'm in, but I feel like my attitudes have shifted a lot lately. To me, grown up means acceptance of what you're good at and what you need to work on. Knowing when to apologize. Knowing when to choose the relationship over being right all of the time. Grown up means if you don't say something about an issue that's wrong or affects others negatively, that means you agree with it. It means standing on the two feet G-d gave you and knowing when to lean on someone else if you get knocked off of those feet for a few. Being a grown up is all in your head. Nothing external like bills, kids, etc can make you an adult. Heck, even today, most 16 year olds are more physically mature looking than I am. Sometimes I feel weird for being my own person. Guilt, regret that I'm not out having fun like normal 24 year olds. But I justify this with the idea that I have my eyes on the bigger picture while they are continuing (dragging out) their adolescence. I feel better.

OK, out of my brain.

The comp exam went well. I think I passed. It is a standardized test but we are being normed against each other and the few people I've talked to afterwards agreed that some of the questions were bull. I got my mani/pedi but did not chop off my hair. I went to the gym but I did not get drunk. I haven't drank since I quit the ciggies. Why reward myself with something negative ?!?!?! I spent most of yesterday afternoon drifting in and out of sleep watching "House" and "Law & Order" and it was glorious. I might still get a hair cut today.